LONG ISLAND SUPERSTARS

Let me just tell you....this...will be a long one....

I never really thought that people from long island were all the
different...until i've seen people that have spent their entire life
on long island...and then go to the city. Boy was i ever wrong....


[cue in flashback]


So after a ggggreat day on friday of having nothing go
right...Saterday was no much better...i had a shitty workout and i
just wasnt feeling well...so My GF's best friend wanted to go to the
city for her bday. it was her best friend(Jamie), Jamie's boyfriend aka
ghetto fabulous.. and his 4 friends...tweedle dee... and tweedle
dumb(both with ginzo fros)
and vicaus who i just called osama. Jamie had less friends for her
birthday there than her boyfriend....this was a good sign.

Jamie's friends were..My GF of course...some "well rounded."....ok it
was a fat chick...and erin "i've been good i havent slept
withsonme....besides friday" fisher. and andi who My GF calls "the
stupid jew" cause aparently she thought the "no turn on red sign read
"NO....TURN ON RED"..meaning u can....

so all and all its a great fun bunch............of rejects.


so on the train these "guys' are whootin and hollering at any girl
that walks by without a penis between its legs....

i'm inside drinking a beer with my sunglasses on trying not to be seen
by anyone.
So i go up to take a piss...and these fuckheads attempt to hit on
My GF....Jamie goes" Guys...her boyfriend just went to the bathroom"
and My GF said "its ok...he doesnt care and they wouldnt have a chance
anyways"...but that didnt stop them...cause they tried again 2 more
times on seperate occasions every time i walked away...

SO these High rollers wanted to go to the marriot maquee. this is
where i put my foot down....i said.."ha..you cant even afford the
marriott.". These high ballers were in jeans...shirts untucked with a
button buttoned. and white sneakers,...of course their gold chains
where outside their under shirt. they didnt want to go to any place
expensive...and in the city...thats about...impossible...

so after gettin into penn station...these cheese heads buying a
40...then pulling a pat at the turnstile...one of them doesnt get on
the train....and i think.."great..the night just got better" but we
had to wait...till they got there..


so i figure...where the hell do they play hip hop...is cool..and i
wouldnt mind going to...

so we walk to the coffe shop. and they want to eat...fine...but they
are...i counted 8...and the guy actually had 2 tables of four(which
was a big surprise)...but then i'm told it was 10 people....so i
laugh....and i turn around...and the guy's laughing and turning his
head no...so then i proceed to just take everyone downstairs....its
hip hop...so they should like it...

we get down and sit in a corner....and Jamie's boyfriend asks the
waitress "do you have any allizaye(sp)". the waitress politly but
with a funny way of disgust says..."no."

so i order my stoli on the rocks.and everyone else orders their
drinks...blah blah blah...its not too bad...and they ask "where we
going next?..and Do they have any cheaper places....and i think My GF
heard them say "you got some place better to go to?"

at this point...i'm thinking tomyself....[inner monologue] i can
leave....they arent any of my friends...[/inner monologue]. So My GF
decides to take them to 13(where we went for pat's bday) i was
surprised that they let her in.... on the way to 13 we saw Leelee
Sobieski, from glass house, and joy ride....i just bumped My GF and
told her...but aparently they reconized her too and whipped out the
cameras and was like "OH MY GOD!!!"...good times....and....so My GF's
attempting to get my attention and saying "baby" as she always
does...and osama trys and put his hands around her....i stepped in and
was about to lay him out on the pavement...but stupid My GF's like
"baby dont...baby dont"....


after all this we make it to 13...and they're playing (i swear to god)
"frat mix 3"...which is compliation cds we made for our parties so
that we wouldnt have to look thru like 80 cds.......

no mind u...these kids are ALL talk and NO action...cause after all
their hootin and hollarin outside...we get to a place where they have
a dance floor(which they wanted) with shitty music(that they listen
to) and they all have circle jerks and hold the wall up...and their
dance moves....well i've seen epileptic retards move better. so after
laughing and pointing at them...dirnking and sitting....My GF and i go
upstairs...to get away from them and the music....

we relize that we can grab the 118am train...

oh yea...btw...we got into the city at like 845ish....yes....i
repeat...8:45ish...

so after we realize that we can catch that train to avoid the
trainwreck that will happen later with these people...kellly proceeds
to run thru people like a battering ram....and i'm just sitting
upstairs with my drink in my hand going "sorry =) " i make it down a
minute after... and she's saying goodbye to everyone as fast as
posible...runs downstairs and is jumping up and down trying to hail a
cab(using ur bouncing jubblies)....so we get a cab and make it to the
station in time....

and thats pretty much it....but i learned a good lesson(s).....


A. Never...EVER....EVER go to NYC with people from LI
B. GET OFF THIS ISLAND ASAP
C. if LI kids want to go to NYC...take them to nassau..they wouldnt
know the difference
D. GET THE F**K OFF THIS ISLAND ASAP



The names have been changed.....cause i said so....